Unwritten Pages Issue 06

Choyce

“You good?” Emersyn asked glancing over at me.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I forced out, already bracing for her crude response.

“Then why are we here?”

“Because you said we had to come for a meeting.

She frowned. “I know what I said, but who’s in control of your life? Me or you?”

“Me, but—”

“There are no buts in this game, Choyce,” she cut in. “You’re either in or out because there’s no tittering the line. And let this be the last time I explain this to you.”

“Excuse the fuck outta me,” I snapped. “I’m not ready to be a queen pin, or whatever it’s called. I didn’t grow up how you did, Emersyn. I wasn’t bred for this shit. I finessed my way into it.”

“Exactly,” she fired back, sucking her teeth. “You were a civilian who got tired of being a pawn. You wanted more and now that it’s right in front of you, you don’t want it?”

She shook her head, lips pressing together in disappointment.

“You have the one thing I never did, a fucking choice. My brother has ten years on me and I protect him. Not because I want to, but because it’s my role. And whether you like it or not, we all have roles to play.”

I swallowed hard unsure of what I wanted my role to be.

“So what—" my voice quivered, “I’m supposed to just accept this shit?”

“Nope,” she answered curtly, like that should’ve been obvious. “You’re supposed to decide.”

I rolled my eyes not wanting to hear another lesson.

“Roll your eyes all you want but it won’t stop me from telling you the truth. If you accept what’s beyond those doors then you’re lying down and letting this life happen to you.”

“And if I decide?”

“Deciding means you stand ten toes in it and own everything that comes with it. Every decision, every consequence, every body that’ll drop will be yours to answer for.”

“That’s not what I—"

“It’s exactly what you signed up for when decided to stop playing soft. I didn’t drag you here Choyce, just like I didn’t force this on you. Everything that led us to this moment was a choice made by you, so what you wanna do? Accept or decide?”

Her words hit heavy but that was expected. I looked away from Emersyn and glanced at The Glided Leaf. Through those doors was a life I didn’t fully understand but it carried the weight of Honor’s belief in me.

“Let’s go,” I said sliding out the car.

“My girl,” she winked.

We slipped through the back door and moved down the hallway toward the main area. Before we even stepped inside, the smell of cigars hit me.

“Fix your face,” Emersyn murmured.

My face pinched in disgust. “I hate the smell of this place.”

“Well, get used to it. Every meeting is held here,” Emersyn muttered.

“Who owns this place?”

“Some Brooklyn nigga named Ryis. He’s never here but word is that nigga don’t fuck around.”

“Mhmm,” I hummed as we neared the double doors leading to the lounge.

“Remember,” Emersyn said just before we walked in. “When we step inside, emotions don’t matter. You being a woman doesn’t matter. Every man in that room is going to test you.”

Her eyes gaze held mine.

“Don’t fucking fold.”

I swallowed any and every emotion I might’ve felt in this moment.

“Don’t let them turn you into something pretty just so they can handle you. With the man you love… operate in all that soft life energy bullshit these hoes preach about. In this room—” her voice dropped, sharp and final. “Be the pressure behind the trigger, not the shine that comes after it.”

I nodded letting her words settle. Briefly I closed my eyes and when they opened, they sat low, and empty.

“I’m ready,” I voiced lowly.

Emersyn nodded then pushed the door open. I walked into the dimly lit lounge and kept my eyes straight ahead instead of letting them take in the room. Six men of all different shades, different facial structures, and different auras sat amongst themselves in leather curved chairs, glasses in hand making idle conversation that I couldn’t hear over the soft jazz but I knew wasn’t of importance. They were putting on a show. Each one of them clocked me the second I walked in, but they all refused to acknowledge my presence. As I neared the area they occupied, I rolled my shoulders back and sucked in a deep breath that I fully rolled out by the time the points of my heels entered their section.

“Gentleman,” Emersyn nodded taking a seat next to Killian who surprisingly didn’t have his two friends with him.

“Emersyn,” they all grumbled in one fashion or another.

I glanced at them and no one bothered returning the gesture. I half smiled and understood exactly what Emersyn meant by being the pressure behind the trigger and not the diamond these men wanted me to be.

“Killian, it’s nice to see you again,” I spoke to him first since I was the most familiar with him.

“I would say the same to you,” Killian said evenly. “But the colors around you won’t allow me to lie.”

His eyes settled on me, but he wasn’t taking me in, Killian was reading me.

“Lying is a fool’s language.”

My eyes drifted toward the grungy and smoke laced voice that sounded like it’s owner swallowed fire, and the flames still burned whenever he spoke. Sitting next to a light skinned man who wasn’t my type, was a man who didn’t need to ask for attention because everything about him took it… effortlessly. His complexion was the shade of rich umber, so deep even the shadows knew better than to swallow him whole. A dark Caesar framed the waves that swirled beneath the dim light, but as attractive as they were, it was the left side of his handsome face that held my attention hostage.

A matte black phantom mask hugged the left side of his face, swallowing the dim light instead of reflecting it, making that side of him impossible to read. Not hidden… but off limits. Beneath the edge, burn marks surfaced into view. Textured and unforgettable, they carved down his cheek and ended at the corner of his lip.

My gaze probably lingered a little too long, but curiosity had caught the cat because while every man in this room was handsome in his own right… he was something else entirely.

“And you are?” I asked.

“My words weren’t directed toward you,” he said voice thick and dark. “If you need to address me, you do it through Solace.”

He turned slightly to look at the light skin man who I assumed to be Solace.

“Lucky for you, I don’t do third parties,” I replied coolly. “If I need to address you, I’ll do so directly. With that being said, Killian please continue.”

I turned away, dismissing his rude ass, and focused on Killian and his amused smirk.

“Lying isn’t my language of choice, so your remarks weren’t necessary Kindred.”

I glanced back at him briefly. “Nice to meet you Kindred. I’m Choyce.”

Kindred flicked his eyes in my direction, giving me a subtly nod before returning his attention to Killian.

“Soft rose,” Killian spoke staring at me intently. “It’s muted like it’s been mishandled one too many times. That’s love… or the need for it.”

His head tilted and eyes narrowed like he was trying to make sense of something that didn’t sit right with his spirit.

“There’s heather gray. Uncertainty, maybe you’re standing in something you haven’t fully decided you belong to yet.”

My chest tightened as Killian read me in front of a room full of men, whose respect I had to gain.

“And then there’s a thin streak of oil slick green running through both the soft pink and the gray. That part is questionable,” he admitted. “It’s not bold enough for me to call you a liar but it isn’t faint enough for me to trust you blindly either. You’re not dangerous in the way people want you to be, you’re dangerous because you want to be loved. And people who yearn for love will always convince themselves anything is right… if it means they don’t have to feel alone.”

“So you don’t trust her?” Emersyn asked.

Before my face could betray me, I forced out a slow breath.

“I trust her about half as much as she trusts herself,” Killian answered.

I paused, unsure of what to say or what to do. Killian’s little party trick wasn’t funny, and it didn’t paint me in the best light. I scanned the room searching for something familiar to steady the erratic thumping in my chest. My eyes slid past Emersyn because she couldn’t help me here. They slipped past the one-eyed man sitting next to her then landed on Righteous. His round, bearded face was hardened and unreadable, but the faintest twinkle sparked in his eyes when ours met. The stare between us wasn’t intense, but the way he held my gaze felt… foreign. Unfamiliar in a way words couldn’t define, yet there was something about it that settled me.

I broke eye contact first, letting my head dip, but the second that burly cough cut through the room, my eyes found his again. Righteous’s hazel eyes didn’t just catch mine, they capture it, saying something I couldn’t hear but understood.

“I understand I’m the newbie of the group,” I started, clasping my hands in front of me. “The last time I was here, there were less of you, and I was here as a proxy to Honor Gravehart, who as you all know is no longer with us.”

I swallowed hard, struggling to keep the disdain out of my voice since most of the people in this room were responsible for his death.

“Today, I didn’t enter this building as a guest, but as a member of this council. So, for those who are unaware of who I am, let me make it clear—my name is Choyce Mancinelli. I govern Gravehart Grove as well as lead the Mancinelli Mafia. Yes, I am young… but so are some of you in this room.”

My eyes lingered on Kindred, Solace, and the one-eyed man. They carried themselves like seasoned men, but the lack of facial hair left them with baby faces like age hadn’t fully settled in yet. If I had to guess the oldest in the room was Killian, then Emersyn… and then Righteous.

“I am also a woman and that might—”

“This isn’t the stone ages,” Righteous cut in. His burly voice commanded my attention without him having to raise it. “We don’t give a fuck about what’s between your legs. What we care about is whether or not we’ll have to clean up messes your hasty decisions leave behind.”

“That’s a little sexist, don’t you think?”

“I think it’s honest and a question that deserves an answer.” Righteous kept his voice even but his gaze pressed a little heavier. “The Sovereign Circle isn’t a place for emotion or personal feelings. Every decision made at this table is rooted in logic. We abide by the laws set forth here… whether we agree with them or not.”

I wasn’t sure if I was reading too far into it or if the undertone in Righteous’s words was about their decision on Honor’s death.

“Let’s say I agree with everything you said,” I started, making sure my voice matched Righteous tone perfectly. “Why would I answer when none of you even glanced my way when I walked into the room? That little moment could’ve been taken as disrespect, especially since each of your acknowledged Emersyn.”

I paused, capturing the eyes of every man seated at the table.

“And if I moved the way you’re implying I might—” I shrugged letting my words linger, “those hasty decisions could’ve led to consequences that left every one of you bleeding out on this perfectly polished floor.”

“Is that a threat?” the one-eyed man asked, leaning forward.

“It’s a hypothetical,” I answered, meeting his gaze. “Just like what Righteous implied about my decision making.”

I let what I’d said sit before continuing. I needed every man in this room to understand, I moved in the same ominous rhythm as them.

“I expect to be shown the same respect each of you extends to one another as members of this council.”

“Sorrow,” the one-eyed man said. “I’m Righteous’s proxy and his brother. The light skinned one is Solace. He’s Kindred’s proxy. You’ll see him far more than you see Kindred.”

My eyes flashed to Kindred, whose focus lingered on the soft rhythm of his fingers strumming against the table.

“You already know Killian and Emersyn.”

“I appreciate the introduction, but let’s not overstep the issue at hand. Respect and trust have to be earned on my part. All I ask is that each of you give me the opportunity to earn them… without the preconceived notions you all have of me.”

The room fell silent with all six pairs of eyes on me. Right as I was about to say something rude, Righteous stood, gesturing to the bartender. He approached with a glass and a bottle of bourbon. He placed the glass in front of me before pouring it halfway and moved around the table topping off everyone else’s.

“This is your rite of passage,” Righteous said, nodding toward the glass as he lifted his own. “You held your own in this room and that alone earns our respect.”

One by one, the others stood, glasses in hand.

“But understand this—” Righteous’s voice dropped “Sipping from that glass is signing your name in blood. Finishing it means accepting the terms that there’s no way out of this except through death.”

Staring down at the glass in my hand, I watched the dark hued liquor settle. I silently prayed I was making the right decision before bringing it to my lips and downing it in one smooth swallow.

“Shall we get down to business?” I smirked.

Around the table, they nodded. Glasses lifted in quiet acknowledgement before they all took their seats again, and Killian moved the meeting forward.

***

After the meeting, most of the council left The Glided Leaf. The only ones who stayed were me, Emersyn, Sorrow and Righteous. The owner of the lounge, Ryis, gave me a full tour and added me to the system so I’d have my own code to access the building in case of an emergency. It felt like a bit much, but he insisted since he extended the same courtesy to the rest of the council.

When I made my way back to the lounge area, Emersyn was at the bar talking to the bartender while Sorrow and Righteous were tucked into a corner, deep in what looked like an intense conversation. I walked past them and headed straight to Emersyn.

“Are you ready?” I asked, catching her attention.

“Ready to get out of here… yes. Ready to go home… no,” she slurred subtly.

“Well, where do you think you’re going slurring your words like that?”

“To… uh—” her eyes cut to the bartender. “What’s your name sweetheart?”

“Darion,” he smirked.

“I’m going to Darion’s house to fuck,” she winked.

“Do you know him?” I frowned.

“Nope but… yolo,” she cheesed, giggling.

“Yeah… no,” I said, turning to the bartender. “Can you get her a bottle of water please.”

“Gotchu,” Darion nodded.

“Boo! No water,” Emersyn frowned as he set the bottle in front of her and twisted the cap open.

“Girl shut up and drink.”

“Whatever,” she huffed grabbing the bottle.

I watched her down it before standing and taking hold of her arm.

“Let’s go,” I told her.

“In a minute,” she whined. “I need to get Darion’s number first.”

“You don’t. Now come on.”

Sucking her teeth Emersyn let me help her off the bar stool. As we headed toward the door, I felt a pair of eyes on me. We kept walking and the feeling didn’t leave. It pressed against my back, more intentional than before. I glanced over my shoulder and the eyes on me belonged to Righteous.

I rolled my eyes, and he smirked, tilting his head to tell me to come him. My brows pinched as I shook my head no, and pushed through the door like I hadn’t felt him watching me at all. I guided Emersyn down the hall and out the back, retracing the exact way we came in.

“Watch your head,” I muttered, easing her down into the passenger seat.

“I’m the big sister not you. I worry about you, you don’t worry about me,” she slurred, already sinking into the leather. “I’m fine.”

“Clearly.”

I slammed the door shut to annoy her then turned and saw Sorrow holding the door to the back entrance open.

“Righteous wants to speak with you,” he said, then looked to Emersyn. “I’ll make sure she gets home.”

“I don’t know you to leave her with you and if Teddy wanted to speak to me, he should’ve come out here himself.”

“I don’t know who this Teddy nigga is but Righteous doesn’t care for an audience when talking.”

“That sounds like a personal problem. So you can tell him—”

The passenger window slid down. “It’s fine,” Emersyn called out, her head lolled to the side. “Go talk to Righteous. I’m not a child and Sorrow knows better than to fuck with me.”

“You think I’m scared of you Syn?” Sorrow chuckled.

“No but you should be,” Emersyn winked. “Now come on before my brother starts blowing my phone up and asking why I’m still in Brooklyn.”

I looked at her, then at Sorrow, weighing it. Emersyn knew Sorrow but she also wasn’t in her right mind. He didn’t seem like a psycho, just a man who’d survived something that was probably trying to kill him. With a forced exhale, I reached into my bag and pulled out Emersyn’s keys, pressing them into his hands.

“Take her straight home,” I said.

He gave a single nod. “Bet.”

I leaned down to look Emersyn in the eye. “Text me when you get home.

“Choyce,” she hummed. “I’m the big sister, don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll always worry because every big sister needs a little sister to be her healer.”

A softness bloomed in Emersyn’s eyes. Before emotions could overtake the both of us, I stepped back and watched as Sorrow pulled out of the spot and the parking lot. Once they were out of sight, I turned and headed back inside. I entered the lounge, and my eyes found him immediately. He was still seated in the corner and his eyes were still on me, like he’d been watching the door and waiting for my return. I made my way over to him and stopped just short of where he sat.

“Do not send for me like I’m one of your bitches holding their breath, waiting on you to tell them to breathe.”

A low rumble that was more of a growl than a chuckle slipped through his full lips.

“Chunky, stop fucking with me and sit yo ass down.”

“Yeah… I’m not doing this,” I huffed waving him off as I turned away.

“Chunky,” he rasped catching my wrist. The tips of his finger tapped against my skin four times. I found it odd, but he must’ve found it soothing, because he did it again. Four taps, a pause then four more taps.

“Is that a kink of yours or something?” I asked, turning to face him.

“What?”

I nodded toward my wrist. “The taps.”

“Nah,” he laughed. “Just some I do to calm my temper.”

“And why would you need to calm your temper with me Teddy?”

“What I say ‘bout that Teddy shit?”

“Probably the same thing I said about that Chunky shit,” I shot back.

Righteous slid his hand from my wrist, stroking his beard with an amused look settling on his face.

“Fuck with me.” He nodded toward the chair across from him before his gaze came back to me. “Unless you got a nigga at home you gotta get back to.”

“If I did, would you care?”

“Truth?”

“No, a lie,” I scoffed.

“Chill,” he chuckled. “Truth is something my siblings and I say. It’s basically a warning. If we say truth whatever comes next isn’t some shit you wanna take as jokes.”

“Are you and your siblings close?” I asked hoping it would open the door for me to ask about the scar going across his eye because Sorrow had a similar scar only his right eye was barely open and all you could see was a sliver of white webbed with faint red lines.

“As close as three people who shared a womb could be,” he shrugged.

“You’re a triplet?”

“Yeah. Now you want the truth or not.”

“Truth,” I told him.

“If you had a nigga at home I wouldn’t give a fuck.”

“Why not?”

“Mistakes are meant for you to learn from, not for me to hold over your head,” he winked, and I hated that I caught a glimpse of his dimples.

His cheeks dipped on both sides, softening his natural grimace.

“Well, it doesn’t matter because I don’t have a man at home.”

“Noted,” he nodded, then his eyes dropped to my hand. “But you wear a ring?”

“Habit. My husband died a few months back.”

“Condolences.”

“You don’t mean it,” I laughed softly.

“I don’t,” he admitted. “But that’s the type of shit you ‘posed to say, ain’t it?”

I shrugged.

“Fuck that nigga. Fuck with me for a little while, Chunky.”

“I can’t. I have to get home to my daughter.”

His hardened gaze held mine for what felt like an hour. “Who you got watching our daughter?”

“Our?”

“Answer the question.”

“My best friend.”

“Then she’s straight,” he nodded. “I’ma have to meet this best friend to approve of her watching our daughter but for now it’s cool.”

“You’re throwing that our word around like we’re a thing.”

“Shit, we just might be if you’d sit your ass down,” he groaned. “Chunky, I ain’t for all this repeating myself bullshit. So, either you gon’ listen or you gon’ fucking listen.”

My head jerked back as I glared at Righteous through tight eyes.

“Who the fuck do you—"

“You.” He stood up. “I’m talking to you Chunky.”

Righteous wasn’t a small man. His height and build carried weight even when he wasn’t trying. I felt it immediately and started to take a step back until his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him.

“Don’t see me how everyone else sees me,” he crooned, voice lower than I’ve ever heard it. “I’m not someone you gotta feel small around. But if you gon’ talk that hot shit, I need you to really talk that shit. Don’t shrink ‘cause a nigga stood up.”

His grip on my waist didn’t tighten but his fingers strummed against the hem of my shirt.  Four taps, a pause then four more.

“I’m never gon’ be the nigga you gotta fear but when I tell you to do some… I need your pretty ass to listen. I won’t ever tell you to do some that’s not in your best interest.”

What he said hit deeper than I expected because of the certainty in his tone. Like he just knew because he said it, I was going to listen.

“I’m done with men thinking they can tell me what to do.”

“The niggas you had that wanted to control you, weren’t men. Don’t disrespect me by grouping me with them niggas. You hear me chunky?”

I swallowed, forcing down the lump rising in my throat then nodded.

“Use that pretty ass voice for me.”

“Yes,” I hummed.

“Ight, sit down and take up space in a nigga’s mind.”

He freed my waist, nodding toward the leather chair. I sat, watching his broad frame settle back into his seat.

“You hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna eat here or you tryna go somewhere else?”

“Whatever you wanna do is cool with me.”

“That’s not how it works with me,” his gaze lifted smothering mine. “It’s your world Chunky. I’m just tryna see where I fit in.”

“Why?”

He shrugged.

 “Use that gravelly voice for me, Teddy,” I smirked.

 “Truth?”

“Yup. That’s the only thing I’ll ever want from you.”

His brows furrowed as his gaze dropped.

“Word? You wouldn’t want a nigga’s last name?”

“I don’t know you or it.”

“Chunky Laurent has a nice ring to it.”

“Please miss me with your delusion and give me your truth.”

“Ight,” he leaned back chuckling lightly. “I’m tryna see where I fit in ‘cause some about you feels right.”

“You were literally an asshole to me the first time we met.”

“True, but you see how I switched shit up by the end of the meeting. I fucked around and gave yo ass a nickname. I don’t do that for nobody.”

“So I should feel special?”

“You should feel special off the strength of who you are, not cause a nigga shows interest.”

“Oh.” My face flattened.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly. “What I’m saying is… you should feel so solid in who you are that anything anybody says can’t change that. Can’t make you feel more like a queen than you already do on your own.”

“I get it,” I nodded even though a part of me didn’t.

“Nah you don’t. If you did the light in your eyes wouldn’t be dimming right now. Don’t trip tho,” he smirked. “Fucking with me is gon’ teach you how to hear what’s actually being said and not the bullshit your mind tries to twist it into.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“What I’m telling you is… think so highly of yourself that anything I say is extra. Like throwing a couple thousand into an account that’s already touching a million.”

He smiled, letting his dimples show. “Feel me, Chunk?”

“What happened to Chunky?” I giggled.

“It’s interchangeable,” he shrugged. “But let me know you understand where I’m coming from.”

“I get it.”

“Good. Now tell me where you wanna eat?”

“Anywhere but here is fine. I hate the way it smells in this place.”

“Sayless,” he said, then paused. “How long do you got before you gotta pick up our daughter.”

“There goes that our word again.”

“Answer the question, Chunk.”

“I don’t know, why?”

“I wanna take you somewhere, but it’s upstate.”

“How far?”

“Stonecrest.”

I hesitated. “Um… I don’t think I can—”

“Who’s your friend that got her?” He asked not trying to hear nothing I had to say about not going.

“Kage.”

“Kage Draven?”

“Yeah. You know him?”

“Something like that. Stay here I’ma handle it.”

“Righteous you don’t—”

“Teddy,” he said, voice laced with a finality that dared me to push back.

I exhaled, shaking my head. “Teddy, you don’t have to do that. I’m not ready to date or jump into anything serious. I’ve got a lot going on that I need to sort out. A relationship will confuse all of that.”

Righteous looked at me and a mix of emotions flickered across his face before settling into something calmer.

“It’s your world, Chunk,” he finally said.

“Not yet but soon enough,” I laughed, pushing up from my seat. “I appreciate you wanting to take me out though.”

“Where you going?” He frowned.

“Home. I’ll call an Uber or something.”

“I’ma drive you home after I take you to get something to eat.”

“Oh no, we don’t have to—”

“I’m taking you to grab something to eat. We don’t gotta dine in, but I’m not dropping you off without food.”

“Fine,” I huffed, playfully rolling my eyes.

“You gon’ give me hell, I can already see it,” he laughed, grabbing my hand and leading me out the front door.

He helped me into his car, then closed the door and rounded the front. I waited until he was settled and pulling off before speaking.

“You understand I’m not interested in a relationship with you, right?”

“I understand, you need time to work through whatever feelings you have about Honor’s death,” he said.

“Honor and I weren’t a thing,” I clarified.

“Maybe… maybe not,” he shrugged. “I saw the way he moved after Solace called you a bitch. I also caught how you got choked up at the meeting when you said his name. I don’t need to know what it was between y’all; I just need you healed or at least in a space where you’re open to letting me into your life.”

“Isn’t it a conflict of interest with us both being in the Sovereign Circle?”

“Nah,” he laughed. “You don’t gotta decide nothing right now. Take the time you need and when you’re ready I’ll know.”

“How?”

“Don’t worry about the how. Focus on doing what needs to be done for the betterment of yourself and our daughter.”

“Why do you keep saying our daughter? Cherish is mine and if there’s one person in this world, I’ll scorch the earth for, it’s her.”

“That fire in your tone is why I refer to Cherish as ours,” he said. “You love her with everything in you and if I plan to love you the same way then I gotta love Cherish that much more.”

“But you don’t even know me. How can you be so certain with me is where you want to be?”

Righteous was saying all the right things, and if I was a young hoe with no responsibilities, I probably would’ve been hanging off his every word. But I wasn’t. I had a daughter, a criminal empire to run and adding love to a weight I wasn’t sure I could carry yet didn’t feel right. Plus… Cherish needed me more than anything right now.

“The only things in life we can be certain about is life and death. Everything else is a gamble.”

“Exactly. So why gamble on me when you could find a woman with less baggage?”

“Never been the kind of nigga who searched for less,” he replied simply. “Look, I can’t give you the answer you’re looking for. Some about you feels right and I wanna explore that when you’re ready. Until then… consider me a friend and Cherish’s step daddy.”

“Righteous please be fucking forreal,” I laughed.

“A nigga couldn’t be more serious. You gon’ see though, Chunky.”

“Maybe,” I muttered as I turned to look out the window.

I’d never tell him, but the fact he was willing to wait for me, made me want to throw caution to the wind and bet it all on us. But doing that just wasn’t a bet I could afford right now. So, the best I could do was accept his friendship and hope that when the time came… when I was finally ready… he’d still be here, willing to bet it all on me and Cherish.